magnt

The English poet John Donne once said, “No man is an island…”  and the emphasis on teams in the world of business in the last decade or so has been an attempt to live into this reality.  What we’ve realized is that work isn’t accomplished by isolated individuals in little cubicles, but instead is done by groups of people coordinating their efforts towards a common goal.  Think about every process in business, from marketing to product delivery, and at every turn your seeing teams of people making it happen.  So whether you’re a corporate executive or a recent college graduate vying for an entry-level position, the ability to lead effective teams cannot be overstated.  With our emphasis on personal branding you may think that we wouldn’t discuss something like teamwork, however the reality is that your ability to relate well and lead teams is an essential component of your personal brand.  In this post I’d like to discuss why I think relational capacity is one of the keys to building healthy teams that age like a fine wine.

What Is Relational Capacity?

When I say relational capacity I’m talking about the level of relationship you have with the other team members.  If your team is an engine then relational capacity is the grease.  It’s there in every interaction: smoothing over sharp-edged personalities, lubricating every disappointing moment, and easing the friction of hard conversations.  A team can function for a while without this ingredient but eventually without the grease the engine will break down.  Commonplace comments like the following show where many leaders mindsets are when it comes to team leadership, “Oh come on” they say, “I’m not here to be friends with these people, I’m here to lead them.  This is business, it’s not personal.”  The problem with this thinking is that it assumes people will follow you because of your position or title, when the reality is that leadership is influence, and your ability to influence people is largely dependent on your level of relationship with them. The question you should be asking yourself is “How can I get people to want to follow me?”  Imagine if you were the team leader or boss that people actually wanted to work with.  Imagine if people genuinely enjoyed team meetings?  Imagine if your team kept improving as the months and years went by. A utopian dream?  I don’t think so.  

New Hope 

Before joining the business world I worked as a youth pastor for over four years at a large suburban church nestled in the suburbs north of Dallas.  As you may know churches are notorious for their nasty infighting and splits and it seems some churches can’t go five years without some major meltdown among the leadership team. But what I witnessed among the leadership team of New Hope was a beautiful thing.  Here were a handful of people from all sorts of different socioeconomic backgrounds, serving side by side, taking a church from 100 people to 1,000 in just a few short years, genuinely enjoying the journey together, and after ten years they still like each other!  It’s not unusual to show up at our local Starbucks and see a handful of them hanging out, not strategizing about the next outreach event, just talking, laughing, and enjoying one another’s friendship.  

Just take a minute and think back to a team that you absolutely loved being apart of.  Did that have anything to do with the relational capacity of the team?  Of course it did!  You trusted each other, you had productive meetings because people could be honest, you enjoyed being with those people because you felt accepted and valued, you weren’t watching your back, you weren’t struggling to fit in, you had the “it” factor, chemistry, or whatever you want to call it because you had relational capacity.  I’ll end with a few action points to get your team building more relational capacity in no time.

Relational Capacity Action Points

Spend Time (Outside of Work).  This doesn’t have to happen every day but should be happening regularly.  You need to facilitate shared experiences because these experiences are part of the relational foundation your laying.  Have coffee, grab a beer, invite a team member’s family over for that Christmas party your throwing.  You can’t ever miss by being too kind, thoughtful, and relational.

Speak Life.  Who wants to be on a team where the only way your recognized is when you screw up?  It’s okay to be honest about shortcomings but make sure you communicate the victories and strengths of your team members.  As the leader you are setting the tone for everyone else, so unless you want a discouraging and critical atmosphere, be lavish in your praise of others and watch them flourish.

Be authentic.  It’s easy to get all this relational talk confused with schmoozing.  We’re not talking about manipulating people or getting team members to only “think” you like them.  You really have to give a damn about them.  A wise person once said, “I don’t care how much you know, until I know how much you care.”  Your team will see through fake gestures in the blink of an eye- so do us all a favor and stay authentic.

Good luck on your journey to strengthen your personal brand by forming great teams.